I Can Love, And I Can Fly
"Bouquet of Happiness" by Andileh
I was inspired the other day. After a conversation I had with a lovely sister in Christ, I found myself yearning to share the musings of my heart, in hopes that those who come across it would be inspired too. This blog post may be considered a random ramble, but I would like to think that every word that flows through my fingertips carries potency and that you, dear reader, will find yourself feeling refreshed and ready to embrace what God has for you while still spreading your wings.
For as long as I can remember, I've been inclined to love. I look back at when I was a child and realize that my little heart was always motivated and stirred to pour into anyone or anything that seemed forlorn. There was a curiosity towards those creatures (humans and animals alike) that portrayed—even minutely—that they felt they didn't belong. I could sense it. I could hear it. I could feel it. Their soul aching for acceptance, for someone to show them even a fraction of softness and help soothe their sharp edges.
Growing up, I began to loathe the idea of helping anyone mend their uncouth and insensitive demeanor. Due to my repetitive negative experiences, I came to embrace the belief that it wasn't my job to inspire, or rather convince (which is what I was trying to do, unfortunately) anyone to change. Somehow, I kept getting myself into situations where the cycle would repeat. It was innate, my willingness to stick my hand into the cage we call love and relationships (knowing I got bit the last time). Because I lacked a relationship with God at this point, I didn't understand that all of this was due to something He planted in me before I was born.
It was always a part of God’s plan for me to love and be loved; He just needed me to learn that one can only truly tap into this lifetime experience through connecting with Him first. He allowed me to make certain decisions and get bit by the same scenario over and over because He knew it would lead me right to Him. Our relationship has softened my heart, and my perspective regarding those who partook in my pain has changed. I no longer view myself as the victim because Lord knows I'm not perfect, but I now see myself as a vessel God chose to use to plant a seed in the lives of these very people. He could have used anyone, but He chose me. He allowed me to connect with people that weren't meant to stay forever but were meant to serve as a learning experience. I got the chance to be used by God to inspire them in ways I may never know. I have since learned that there is nothing more beautiful than choosing to look through a rigid demeanor and render (give) the softness a person so craves, despite their imperfections.
Easier said than done, but to deny someone the love that God says they deserve is selfish and hypocritical. Every day, God chooses to love you and me. Every day, He wakes us up with plans of loving us regardless of what we may do later that evening or even the next day, and He never once bases this love on our actions. We are called to love in this way, where despite what takes place, we are choosing to see this person through God’s eyes. We are choosing to continue glorifying Him with how we portray ourselves because as believers, we’re meant to be a reflection of Him. Now please understand that to love like God does not equate to accepting disrespect or abuse. It simply means looking at the bigger picture and not taking someone else's inability to handle you well personally. Do not allow the actions of others to negatively affect how you view yourself and God. This is the equivalence of mental, emotional, and spiritual prison.
God has taught me to love and release. Not everything is meant to be permanent (which makes sense because this life is so fleeting), and it’s okay to embrace those fleeting experiences and walk away with what you were meant to learn. Negative experiences or relationships you had hoped would last don’t have to be something you lament over. You can choose to take away what’s for you, and whatever wasn’t, you can choose to leave it behind. Moving forward, I’m choosing not to regret ever giving or pouring into those that needed it. I will not regret loving. Love is not something you should want to take back, even if you could, and if you want to...then it isn’t love.
I can love, and I can fly. God can use me to bless those with hardened hearts and still enable me to tap into peace and joy. Jesus ministered and loved knowing it made Him more vulnerable. Let us strive to operate in Godly vulnerability together; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and so can you.
Talk soon, xoxo <3